Most mornings after the babies have a little play time they start to fuss just a little and this is what I've come to know as cuddle time. They want Mommy to hold them until they fall asleep. They want cuddle time. I pick them up and their whole bodies relax as they get right in the right spot to cuddle. I love it! I love holding them. I love loving them. I love taking care of them. I know the day will come when they will be to busy for me to hold them or too big so I want to take every opportunity I can to do so.
As I look at them during cuddle time I'm astounded at their tininess. Every part of them is so small. I hold their feet in my hands. Feet that I pray take them around the world one day. I hold their little bodies in my arms and I know one day they won't fit there anymore. Infants are so tiny, so delicate, so vulnerable, so dependant. I can't believe this is the way we all started. We all started completely dependant on someone to take care of us. This has made me think a lot about when I was first born. I only know what people have told me and it's not a lot. My mom was 18 years old and pregnant, she didn't know who my father was and her family encouraged her to give me up for adoption. They lined up a family for me, but the story goes, she took one look at me and couldn't give me up. The family was upset because they didn't think she could take care of me. I always thought they were right; I did do a lot of my growing up without her. She went to prison when I was 5 and after that I saw her only for her short visits into my life. I never understood infancy until now. Only as my children have been born have I gotten an understanding of how dependant an infant is and I had the thought that I must have been that dependant at one time. When I was an infant I had someone to be dependent on, my mom. I didn't ever realize that she did take care of me; she really was a mom when I needed a mom the most. She wasn't there for a lot, but she was there then. She was there when I needed to eat every 3 hours, when I needed diapers changed, when I was up at 3 in the morning, and she was there when I needed cuddle time. Even Jesus himself came as a baby so tiny, so delicate, so vulnerable, so dependant. The Son of God was dependant on sinful man. God entrusted His only Son to sinful man. I was entrusted to a sinful woman. My children are entrusted to a sinful woman. His grace truly is sufficient.
Today I'm grateful for the cuddle time I have with my babies and the cuddle time I must have had with my mom.