Day 56: Send Off

Yesterday we sent my husband off to Africa for 10 days. The week has been kind of crazy getting him ready to go, making sure he had all he needs, and it would all weigh less than 50 lbs. After multiple trips to the store, many to do lists and shopping lists we checked everything off the list and got him on the plane in time. The only thing we forgot to really take a look at was how it would feel to be apart. Last night after the babies went to sleep it sunk in and my heart began to ache for my husband. I miss him! It amazes me how he has been gone for less than 24 hours and I feel as though a part of me is missing. I didn't know this is what happened when you married someone. I'm now convinced that when you do marriage God's way He turns it into a miracle that you never thought could happen. Phil is my partner, my teammate, my best friend, my love without him around I feel a little uneasy like I don't really know what to do, normal everyday tasks don't seem normal or easy. Everything feels foreign without him. This feeling amazes me because this is coming from the girl who was so independent and never let anyone in for fear of getting hurt. Phil has ruined me for independence and knocked down all my walls of insecurity and now life without him is simply unbearable...that's the miracle! I never thought my heart would need someone or love someone the way it does Phil.


Today I'm grateful he will be back in 10 days...I think I might begin counting hours.

Day 55: Senior Shoot

Yeah, the other night I did my first photography shoot since the babies were born.  I was getting ready to go and I was so excited, like a kid in a candy store!  I really do love this work!  It's so much fun capturing great images for great people. 

Darby was so much fun to hang out with.  We beat the rain and had a blast doing it.  I really hope she loves these images.  I am having so much fun working on them  Let me know what you guys think.

Today I'm grateful for my photo session.

Day 54: Footsies

Last night when I crawled back into bed after a late night feeding my husband rubbed his feet up against mine as if to say "I'm glad your back and thank you for doing what you're doing."  I smiled and drifted back to sleep.  The Lord has blessed me with a great partner.  Life is hard sometimes, but this I know, it would be a lot harder without my partner.  He is such a great encouragement to me and my heart is thankful for the many simple things he does to remind me that he is in this with me, he is my partner.  I know it sounds funny that playing footsies would remind me that I'm not in this alone, but it did.  I hope I can always see the simple things he does and allow those things to remind me of his love for me.  I will admit I probably miss things every day that he does to show me his love, but last night I didn't miss it.  I allowed his feet to snuggle up and remind me of his love.  I hope I can do that more often. 

Today I'm grateful for the small things my husband does to show me he loves me. 

This picture was taken on our honeymoon when we were playing footsies. 

Day 53: One-on-One

One of the hardest things I have found about having twins is you feel like you're always being pulled to the other one. I often have questions of am I giving them each enough attention and I'm giving one more than the other, am I comparing them to each other? All of these questions just rolling around like a lost tumbleweed in the desert. I just want to love each one of them enough that I truly know them. To be known I believe is one of the greatest ways of being loved. The fact that my husband can tell you how I would react to something, what my favorite color is, or what I like to eat tells me so much that he loves me because he has taken the time to know me. I want to know Zaya and Chase in their individuality. They are two completely different people just running this course of life at the exact same time with the exact same people, but their individuals. I know this because of our one-on-one time together. It doesn't happen often because a Mom of twins strives for a cohesive schedule, but when it does happen I'm learning it is sweet time that I should cherish.

This morning Chase woke up just about 45 minutes before his sister. He is kind of growing out of that cuddle stage and finding out that cuddle time usually means nap time isn't far to follow, but this morning he welcomed a little cuddle with Mommy. We sat on the patio and listened to the birds sing and watched the squirrels play. Chase and I had a wonderful one-on-one. Inevitably since Chase woke up early that would mean he would go down earlier for his nap which would mean some one-on-one time with Zaya. My sweet girl and I had a cuddle and a book. We read "When you take a Mouse to the Movies" after that we danced and then she let me know she was tired so I kissed her and laid her down for her morning nap. My one-one-one time with Zaya was precious.

I'm learning to enjoy these times even if it means mom doesn't get a break. It's my time to get to know them individually and really enjoy just them. I vow today this is something I will do throughout their lives is make time for them one-on-one.

Today I'm grateful for my one-on-ones.

Day 52: Missions

The first year my husband and I were married we made a vow to ourselves and our family that we would be committed to going to the nations, teaching our children about the world, the cultures and the people and serving them with all that God has blessed us with. We decided then it was biblical to take the first year of marriage off and then every year after we would send someone or everyone on a missions trip every year. This year it's Phil. He is going on his first over seas mission trip to Tanzania, Africa. I'm so excited for him to experience Africa, the people, the beauty and the culture is an amazing blessing. I have only been to Kenya, Africa so his experience will be new and exciting for all of us. Our church, Freedom International Church, is sending a team of 6 to work at Treasures of Africa, a Christian Orphanage, and to minister to the Masi tribe. Phil will get to meet a Pastor that has killed 18 lions! So cool!! It is an amazing blessing to be used by the Lord to minister to people and I am so excited Phil gets to take part in this.

Phil will be gone April 29-May 10. If you could please pray for him and the team that would be such a blessing. Pray for us here at home as well, we will be missing him so much while he's gone.  If you would like to help in any other way please let me know and I will tell you how to do that.

Today I’m grateful we have committed our family to ministering to the nations.

Day 51: Accomplishment

Today as I was doing the laundry and cleaning the baby’s room an epiphany hit me, I could finally put my finger on why this new job of mine (CEO of the Hinton Household) is a little hard at times, mundane some and even frustrating a little. Maybe as a mom some days you don't feel very accomplished. I finish the dishes, but then there is more that same afternoon, I do the laundry but then there is more that evening, inevitably there are endless diapers to change and mouths to feed and especially with two I often feel as though my life is stuck on the repeat button. I never really get to check anything off the list and walk away feeling accomplished. This was huge for me! It is amazing what the Lord reveals when you ask Him. Now I know, now I can make a plan to have some things in my life to check off my list and feel accomplished.
We had a major accomplishment as a family. We finally finished our patio. Phil and I wanted to make our patio a place we could entertain and enjoy together as a family and make a safe fun place for the babies to play. Phil, Dave, Joyce and I painted, got new patio furniture, made new cushions and put up a fence to keep the babies out of the pool. It's really an incredible space now that we really love hanging out in. I hope you can all come over for a bbq we would love to have the company.

Today I'm grateful for things accomplished.

Baby's play area

Cola was locked out she got in trouble...This is now doggy jail.

Our Avocado plant we are tryoing to grow.

Day 50: Photography

Today I spent the babies nap time editing some photos and it was so much fun. I love this art. I love how I'm getting better and better at it. I love learning new things about my camera and editing. I love the way I feel when I look back at these photos and relive the memories. It will be so fun giving my children the gift of their life in photos. I'm so grateful for this creative outlet to express myself. I'm always down on myself because I feel like I'm not good enough, but today I realize it's not about how good I am it's really about my passion. I'm passionate about this art. I'm passionate in photographing my kids the best I can. I'm passionate enough to keep learning. I'm so excited because I have been given such a wonderful gift. My incredible in-laws are sending me to my all time favorite photographer, Amy Wenzel, workshop. This is so amazing because I believe this will be a launching pad for me in photography. I think it will boost my confidence and teach me so much that I will finally take the leap in starting my photography business. YEAH! This has been a goal of mine for a couple of years now, but I could never take the step before. It's so exciting! I think I'm gonna do it!


Today I'm grateful for photography!

Super Chase dropping drool bombs!

Day 49: My Best Buddy

A friend that sticks closer than a brother is the biggest blessing a person can have. Kelli has shown me that as she has blessed my socks off the last 12 years. She actually has proven time and time again that she's sticking closer than a sister. I will never understand Kelli's love for me or her loyalty because believe me I have tested it a time or two, but instead of trying to understand it I just have learned to rely on it and love it. Kelli is really the first person in my life that has chosen to stick around for the long haul. Family and friends have faded away but my sister has stayed around and for that I am forever grateful. I believe she is part of the reason I can believe in peoples love and begin to trust again. She not only is just an all together great person, but she makes me laugh, she lets me cry and she always listens.

The craziest thing is in our 12 years of being friends we have only lived in the same city 5 of those 12 years, but somehow the knitting of our hearts has kept us close. She now lives on the other side of the country and our time together is limited, but it doesn't matter because she is my sister. I don't know why we click the way we do. We're as different as giraffes and elephants we like different things, have different hobbies and are just different. What the Lord has done is a blessing I will never stop being grateful for.

Today I'm grateful for my friend, my sister, Kelli!  Happy Birthday Kels!

Playtime Outside

Day 48: She's Found Her Voice

Since day one I think Chase has been talking.  He is so verbal with all different kinds of sounds and loud too (hmmm...I wonder where he got that from?)  but Zaya has always been so quiet just making a peep here and there.  Not this week though she has found her voice.  She's Ms. Talky Talkerson in true girl fashion.  Her talking is so funny too, it's like this long drawn out sound.  Sometimes it sounds as if she's yelling at you.  It's really funny!  Chase when he talks sometimes it's like a whisper like he has a secret for you, but not Zaya she has an announcement to make and the world will hear it.  She is no longer taking a back seat to her brother she is standing up for her right to be heard and I love it!  I could talk all day to them...oh wait...I do.

Today I'm grateful Zaya found her voice.

Day 47: Only a Cold

Last week both of the babies got sick for the first time, nothing like putting a first time mom over the edge. I took Zaya's temperature and found out it was a little high and immediately fumbled around searching for my phone to call the pediatrician. I didn't know what to do. My baby was sick and I was heart sick for her. The pediatrician asked, "Did you give any Tylenol?" I said, "no, I called you!" I think I heard her giggle then in a very calm voice she instructed me to give her Tylenol and watch the fever. I watched it alright. Zaya didn't leave my arms all night. 2 days later Chase started coughing a horrible sounding cough. This put me over the edge so I took them in to make sure everything was alright. It was and it is. It's just a cold. I watched my babies suffer from this stupid cold all week coughing, not being able to breath, having to take medicine and get squirts up their nose. It's a horrible thing for mom's heart to see her babies suffer. I couldn't imagine if it was something worse then a cold.


Today I'm grateful it's only cold.

She's even cute with a snotty nose!